Notes from SunnyJay

The Christmas spirit has arrived and with it… all the decorations to match!

Sadly, It promptly fell down again!

But they tried again!

This picture is really dumb… besides, I REALLY need a hair cut!  It’s killing me!  But anyway.  Merry Christmas!!

memories of college life:

College Move in – my first day at AU. L-R: Dark Tan, Light Tan, No Tan.  But I got them beat on the red!  We were all so nervous (or at least I was)  Tage’s mom said, “lets take a picture you three, get together” so we all moved about an inch closer and stood like telephone polls.  Simon then said what I’ll probably never forget: “c’mon, lets at least pretend like we know each other!”  So we did!  Good times!

Then all those good memories which I will list here, and which you probably won’t get, but that I will try and explain for my own memory’s sake. (In order that they come to mind)

1. Gasping at Ryan – Sarah and I knocking on Ryan’s door to tell him that we’d like to take him out to dinner for his birthday, he opened (this being the first time I had seen him after Thksgivng break) and together let out a gasp/moan/scream at his disheveled, shirtless, appearance.  He really did look like a totally different person! (he was also sick)  I’m sure that the much older me who is reading this misses both of them. (Hello older me!!)

2. Swing dancing – such a good time!  where I learned to get over my fear of new things that are slightly athletic!  What a great time I had with Myrtle!

3. Of course, George and Myrtle!  The famous act that Sarah and I supposedly have.  We were/are an old married couple that finish each other’s lines.  They accused us of practically scripting out our casual dialogue together; that’s how tightly we work together!  An Amazing Friend!  I still want to meet Mrs. B!

4. Ruining the scare attempt – I saved the day and ruining Ryan and Simon’s attempt to scare us all as we ate ice cream and walked home!  I never felt better!

5. “Don’t fraternize with the help, Tage!” – and other such memorable lines from our late night talks laying sleepless in bed at 2 or 3:00 in the morning.  I’m still sure he’s going to kill me!

6. Jessie’s sister thinking I was an aspiring Homicidal maniac – better not drive me over the edge!  She thought that I was only being friendly so that the police couldn’t trace it, and so I’d be the last one anyone would suspect!  She actually charged into someone’s room while visiting in order to hide from me when I walked past the hall.  What fun!

7. “Are you… er… I don’t know how to ask this… are you a Blue-Blood?”  I’ve been a shelter, homeschooled, aristocratic blue-blood ever since!  and Ryan (it wouldn’t be a post without him!)  the eternal ”blue collar worker”.  Such fun we had bantering back an forth about how sheltered I was, and how “uncouth” he was, how pie was supposed to be eaten with a spoon (vs. fork) and how I have little or no social exposure!  He was also the one who broke my back on the whole “clever comeback” thing.  For the life of me I couldn’t come up with one!  So one day I called Sarah on the phone to tell her something, and she mentioned that she was walking with Ryan, so I said to tell him that I had come up with a comeback (when actually I hadn’t).  I thought, oh, isn’t that funny to call a person an hour later with a comeback to a dead conversation.  Ha-ha-ha!  Well, she all too quickly handed phone over to Ryan, who asked to hear it, and I was forced to confess that I actually didn’t have one, and he replied: “oh.” (wait for it… wait for it… there’s more…)  “Oh, no, I think it’s because you’re starved for social contact that you needed to call and speak with another human being…” (I hung up on him at that point, which I regret doing)  Good times!

I’m sure that I’ll probably post with more memories soon!  What a semester!

Memories of Mexico….

A mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt…

In the desert, the peaceful desert,
Clarice, she sleeps tonight.
In the desert, the tranquil desert,
Clarice, she sleeps tonight.

Near the worksite, the quiet worksite,
Clarice, she sleeps tonight.
Near the worksite, the quiet worksite,
Clarice, she sleeps tonight.

A mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt, a mound ‘a dirt…

Assuming that it’s common knowledge that you can add pretty much any word, follow it with a “Phobia” and you’ll have a scientific discovery, I provide you with this list of some of my favorite fears:

Deipnophobia- Fear of dining or dinner conversations.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
Merinthophobia- Fear of being bound or tied up.
Onomatophobia- Fear of hearing a certain word or of names.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Pupaphobia – Fear of puppets.
Scolionophobia- Fear of school.
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.

No offense to anyone who has a phobia they didn’t want to see posted up on someone’s xanga.

Sarah: [I'll call you at 5:15, to wish you a happy birthday, Ryan.]

Ryan: I swear, if you wake me up at 5:15 on friday morning it will be the last voice you ever hear

Sarah: 5:15 PM

Ryan: oh

Warning: 1,644 words!

     It was thanksgiving time at Hughes Hall, the home of George and Myrtle.  Hughes Hall was a large colonial structure built at a time when elegance and order were essential fundamentals of any piece of architecture.  As George tossed a log onto a bed of glowing coals in the fireplace, he thought of the time 45 years before when he and Myrtle where newlyweds and had seen Hughes Hall for the first time.  It had been the dream home of theirs for years, and eventually they were able to buy the house and grounds and restore it.

     The house was the last thing on Myrtle’s mind, however, she filled each moment with preperation for the feast that evening.  She opened the oven and checked the termometer that poked out from the golden brown turkey.  Their son, Ryan, stomped in through the door, his nose and ears red from the crisp fall air.  He dumped the logs he had just taken off the woodpile onto the floor before he started stacking them neatly against the wall.

     A brisk wind rushed againts the windows seeming to shake the warm house.  George sat down in his favorite chair in the living room and watched the wind pluck tired, old, leaves off the massive oaks that surrounded their home.  Myrtle, however, was too busy to notice leaves, she was in the middle of whipping cream for her famous pumpkin pie which she would serve with joy.

    However one thing she always had time for was glancing at the picture of her children that hung over the stove.  Through the wisps of steam emanating from the stove, she would sneak peeks at the photo which she faithfully changed out every year with the latest portraits of her beloved children.

     George and Myrtle were both very excited.  Today was the day that two of their three children were coming home from college.  Ryan, their son, had arrived earlier that week, Michelle, their daughter, wouldn’t be coming because of her job, and Jessie, their other daughter (who wanted to be called Kennedy, but will be known as Jessie in this post) was expected at any moment.  Myrtle frantically raced around the kitchen watching over each dish as if it were a charished child that needed to be guided across a busy street.  Her only peace came after she had placed each dish on the elegant dinning room table with care, making sure that they were in alphabetical order, clockwise, and poised to be used in the service of their guests.  The gentle glow of candles flickered light across the golden brown rolls, and bright red cranberry sauce.  The brown stuffing steamed a little through the lid of it’s pot.  The table was set, the meal prepared and now it was time to eat.

     The only problem was that Jessie was yet to arrive.  She had already called twice saying that she was lost and going the wrong way, down a one way street, but couldn’t find a spot to turn around since the exits were also on the other side.  That was just before lunch.  Then she had called again asking if we had moved to another house.  We had not, however St. Anthony’s House for Wayword Boys should’ve taken her in, even if she was a girl! That was close to 5:30pm, and dinner was at 6:00.  If there was one thing that George had always tried to impress upon his children, it was the importance of punctuality.  Dinner had always been at 6:00, and George prided himself on running an extremely efficient household.  Myrtle took a softer, more gracious attitude, however had grown accustomed to George’s persistant scheduling.  It was now 6:02 p.m.

     Jessie wouldn’t race up the driveway and careen to a stop in the middle of a flowerbed until 6:15p.m., by which time George had insisted that they sit down and start eating no less than 12 times.  Each time was the same,

George: “Myrle, lets start without her!  These kids should learn that they must be on time if they want to get anywhere in life!”
Myrtle: “No, George, we’re going to wait, she won’t be much longer, remember she just called about hitting Johnson’s mailbox a few minutes ago.  Give her a little more time.”
George: “But dear, she’s got to learn!”
Ryan: “can we eat”
George: “that’s my boy…”
Myrtle: “no, boys!” she said shaking a spoon at george, who took it from her with a puzzled look. “no, dear, thats not for you, we’re waiting!”

     Jessie stumbled in at 6:23p.m. at which point she found them sitting in the dining room around the elegant table that glistened like a palace with each piece of sliver having been meticulously polished by George earlier that day.  “Helloooooo” she said in her high-pitched voice.  “Hello dear,” said Myrtle, ”Won’t you sit down?  What on earth do you have there?  You didn’t need to bring anything… Oh my!  It’s pink!”, ”it’s a Jell-O fruit salad!  it was Soooo cool!  Look!  it has a princess on the box!” ”Jessie, that’s a turkey.” said Ryan, “No it’s not!  Look!  See!  There’s the face, there’s her hair and down there is her dress!”  “First of all, you’re holding it upside down, those are feathers, and thats no face!”  “ouff!  I hate you!”

     George sat with his hand clasped over his face – the spirit of thanksgiving suddenly evicted from his soul.  “Jessie, why don’t you sit down, and I’ll give the blessing.”  “okaaaaay!”  She squirmed her way around the table knocking into the ornate english oak chairs.  As she moved she splashed a little Jell-O on her and those family members she passed.  Once she got settled in her chair, George gave the blessing, which seemed to lack the gusto with which he normally led the family in prayer.  However, after he finished he no longer felt irritated.

     George stood over the lushous Turkey, and uttering a last word of thanksgiving, sliced into it’s golden glasing and shaved off thick slabs of moist turkey.  As the family passed their plates to the end of the table, Ryan asked ”I don’t know, should I have turkey, or Ham?”  there was a moment of silence, then Myrtle said “I didn’t make ham this year, dear.  George perfers turkey, and I assumed that everyone else did too, I’m sorry.”  “no, thats ok, it’s just that Ham has so much more protein!”  “Oh, who cares about protein on thanksgiving!” George blurted out, “I heard that the real sleeping beauty didn’t drink enough water, and thats why she slept so much!” Jessie added, ”Thats nice dear.” said Myrtle.  Ryan continued, “but thats ok, I’ll just have one of these protein shakes, with my meal.”  George froze, and gave his son a blank stare.  However Ryan’s questions continued, “should I have cranberry sauce with the berries in it, or smooth?”, “Gravy, or butter?”, “Should I have one scoop of potatoes or two?”

     After they were all served, they began to eat.  The food dissapeared off their plates.  Myrtle had once again outdone herself and skillfully proven herself to be an outstanding chef.  Most dinners with George and Myrtle were in some way educational.  This time they were able to teach the next generation some of the finer points of civilized eating.  For example: when eating pie, you must use the proper untensil.  Using the wrong untensil would be tolerated, but also commented on.

     She was so good in fact that Jessie felt inspired to reach for another helping of her Jell-O fruit Salad.  As she swung the pan around she not only elbowed Ryan, but knocked the glistening silver candelabra into the delicate dried flower arrangement. (Myrtle’s hobby during the dreary winter months)  The entire display burst into flames smoke filled the room blackening the bulbes of the crystal chandeleer hanging above the table.  As the group rushed for the pitcher of water, Jessie, grabbed a bottle of wine, and poured that onto the flames.  This turned the table into a firely puddle.  As wine drained onto the floor the fire spread with it, George rushed Myrtle into the kitchen and grabbed another bucket of water.  The entire table was ablaze, and the 19th century silk tablecloth was suddenly roared to life and burned with a fury.

     The blackened ceiling once George’s favorite example of 19th century plasterwork was now crumbling because of the heat, dropping chunks of charred plaster down onto the table.  Meanwhile Jessie had found the only fire extinguisher in the house and was desperately trying to work it.  The rest of the family was running around trying to find the very same extinguisher, thinking it had been misplaced.  After a few minutes of struggling with the pin inside the extinguisher, she tossed the whole thing into the blaze in frustration.  The plastic hose soon melted, as well as several gascets keeping the Co2 inside.  Suddenly with a rush of air the top of the extinguisher melted away and sent a rush of air around the room.  The force of the rush of air sent the charred plates and dishes, forks and spoons flying across the room, smashing into paintings and windows.

     For several minutes the fire extinguisher wirrled around on the table blowing objects out of the fire.  Eventually, George and Ryan rushed in with buckets of water.  The room filled with the hiss of steam and the windows fogged up.  The fire was out.  The group starred at Jessie.  She gave them a sheepish grin, her face covered with soot.

     In that moment of complete despair only one phrase could fully capture the sorrow of George and Myrtle’s loss.  The loss of their dining room, the loss of their thanksgiving, and the loss of their dignity among their neighbors, who were gathering outside.  that one phrase came bursting from Jessie’s lips…

“Sars”

“Goodbye Jessie”
By Jason Cunningham

“Goodbye Jessie”
that illustrious phrase,
The aim and goal of all our days,
Though while she is the jolly sort
The time we spend is never short.
The stands of time go pouring by
but still Jessie only asks why
we can’t spend each waking sec
with “the girl we most respect!”
The very moment we sit to read
she IMs you with a need.
“Come visit me!” she demands
“Pay attention to my commands!”
“Visit me!” she whines away
So at her desk we spend the day.
Until “Goodbye” we finally say.
“NO!” she screams, and flails her arms
But the desk has lost its charm.
So we run as fast as we can
Until tomorrow’s prompt IM.

This poem dedicated to my dear friend, Ryan…. just kidding… Jessie DeStefano who is both the inspiration for, and subject of, these few lines.

 I feel as thought I should address a certain issue that has just come to light:  my “constant” writing about Ryan.I now quote from one of the comments:
     “You sure do talk about this Ryan kid a lot. Do you have a crush on him or something? (I shake my fist at Ryan cause I can!)?”

     I don’t know how to respond to that… It would seem that I do write about Ryan quite a bit.  In fact I’d call it down-right often!  by my count, no less than the last 14 major posts have included some reference to “this Ryan kid” (counting this post).  However, I can assure you that the only crushing going on here at AU (involving me) is when I am forced to fight him, which happens only rarely.

     However, I will say this: Ryan is a good friend and faithful hall-mate.  He loves the Lord his God in spite of the fact that he is a Catholic, and challenges me with his humility (except when he’s clearly an arrogant snob from Connecticut).  I can also say that I know no other person with his sense of humor, thank goodness, and thank God that I finally have someone who makes me look intellectual, even if I am taking Finite Math!  He’s also a fitness freak, which I deeply respect, even if I am unwilling to learn from his example.

     I hope that this clears up the nature of our relationship, and will free our minds from any concerns you may have.

     Lets change the subject to something more pleasant – ME!  Below is a poem written by Jessie Destefano.

Jason is a stupidhead
he has very little street cred
no offense, but he was homeschooled
but he’s smart and is not easily fooled
and he wouldn’t visit Jessie no matter how much she plead

With those happy thoughts, I’ll bid you good night!  Goot Nacht!

Ok, it’s time for a REAL update!  No tricks, no jokes, just the facts – a plain old update on my weekend.

I arrived home on Friday night, and had a good time relaxing with the family, we stayed up till 1:00 just talking about events of the past two weeks.

After a peaceful night’s sleep, I awoke at around 7:00am, showered, dressed, and was about to eat breakfast, when I realized that I was missing the whole point of getting up early – I was doing breakfast with Ryan! (yes, he seems to be the subject of EVERY post, but I can’t help it!)

So I put on my coat, and headed out to my car, only to find it missing.  I then realized that I had sent it to the shop for repairs.  So I warmed up and scraped off our Ford Taurus.  After a few minutes I was off and away!

Ryan and I agreed that I would help him kill 3 hours inbetween two events he had at both the Rockville and Shady Grove metro Stations, the plan was to go have breakfast (which would magically take up three hours) and then drop him off at his Tae Kwon Do “studio” at Shady Grove where he would do whatever it is that athletic people do, and than head back to AU.  My job (and pleasure) was to pick him up, enjoy his company over breakfast, and then drop him off.  that was the plan, are we clear?  Good.

When I arrived at the Metro I waited about 2mins and then promptly recieved a call from Ryan, who quickly found me, jumped in, and off we headed for IHOP.  I have never had a Metro pick up go so well in my life!

We arrived, were seated, and recieved our food within 30mins.  I believe our entire breakfast took an hour walk-in to walk-out.  Now we had 2 hours to kill.  Call it a botched assasination.

Now Ryan, as he usually does, started making me think about physical fitness, especially after finishing off three buttermilk pancakes smothered with fresh strawberries and frothy whipped cream.  ::sigh::  Now, I was wearing my “Fat person coat”.  One of those fluffy “snowball fight” coats that seems to inflate your girth into a chubby sphere of insulation.  This is no longer elegant enough for a “college student”!

So Ryan and I went shopping!  You’ll recall – actually you won’t recall because I haven’t told you – but if I had told you, you’d recall that he was the same person I went shopping with last time, and who has become my chief fashion advisor.  Last time it was he and Simon, my roommate, who dressed me in my uncharacteristicly non-blue color of green (gasp!)  Yes friends, last weekend, they bought be two GREEN sweaters.  This stands in sharp contrast to the weekend before it when I bought 3 blue shirts – each the exact same shade of blue.

But at last those days are behind me, I now own shirts that are two colors, and now I have an alternative to my fluffy jacket – a Pea coat!

(Thats not actually a picture of me wearing it, it’s someone else.  You can tell by the fact that I don’t actually “pop” my collar, I usually wear it normally.)

So Ryan was a huge help in lending his fashion sense to this poor tasteless wreck.

One thing that I am somewhat saddened by, is the fact that because my car was in the shop, Ryan’s name won’t end up in my “Registar of Passengers For the Buick LeSabre”.  I spent a whole 5mins trying to find a way to work around the problem, but alas, the rules are very clear, “Passengers must have ridden in the LeSabre, at a time when Jason was operating the aforementioned vehicle.  If said passengers do not wish to sign on the corresponding line and/or date according to the Gregorian Calendar, these details and or information shall be added by Jason J. Cunningham, and he may excersize supreme authority on all matters regarding said records, being endowed with power sufficent in all respects to add or remove names of passengers from said list, as he sees fit.”

At anyrate… I’m happy with how the weekend went!  But now it’s time for THANKSGIVING!!!  Yahoo!

We break from our live coverage of the Fall 2005 Semester College experience of ”James” to bring you the latest World News from off the wire…

Emperor Ryan I visits with United Nations diplomat to talk surrender – Continent hand-over expected!

Since the collapse of the European Union earlier this year, the United Nations restructuring, and the solidification of alliances between those nations still free from the thumb of Emperor Ryan I, we have seen very little progress towards a positive peace in between Emperor Ryan I and the United Nations.  Until now.

Yesterday, in a remarkable diplomatic move Sir Jason J. Cunningham, chief diplomat representing the UN met with His Excellency, Emperor Ryan I to discuss the possible surrender of yet another continent to The Emperor’s iron-fisted rule.

(Picture) RIGHT – Sir Jason J. Cunningham, the Englishman in charge of “Defending the sovereignty and independence of those nations hitherto represented by the UN.” LEFT – Emperor Ryan I, the man who’s empire has quickly engulfed most of the known world in little under 5 years.  His proclaimed goal is to bring every corner of the world under his control – with the addition of Africa and South America to the list of continents under his control last spring, Emperor Ryan I stands poised to reach his goal of global domination by early next year.

This meeting follows three weeks of intense fighting along the boarder which concluded with the UN being forced to retreat past the Ural mountains.  This retreat sealed the fait of the orient and brought yet another continent to it’s knees – Asia.

During this scene of chaotic turmoil it fell to Sir Cunningham to negotiate the surrender of Asia and hopefully end the latest round of violence between the UN, whose minimal holdings include only Western Europe and Australia.

Dr. Ronald Blurdoue wrote, “The speed with which Emperor Ryan I has succeeded in global domination can, without exaggeration, be compared with that of Hitler, the Mongol hoards, Napoleon, and Roman Empire.”  The most startling fact is the speed with which he has crushed the people of those continents.  “We’re not talking about a few fallen nations within a continent, but rather many continents on a planet – and we had better do something to stop him soon if we desire our freedoms to remain intact.”

With this in mind, Sir Cunningham’s meeting Yesterday with Emperor Ryan I can be considered a triumph of modern diplomacy.

Emperor Ryan I arrived in Shady Grove at 8:30a.m. where he was picked up by the Diplomatic motorcade headed for the headquarters of the International House of Pancakes, where it was reported that they spent 35mins eating breakfast, before the negotiations began in earnest.  The motorcade was last seen at 10:35 returning to Shady Grove where Emperor Ryan I was scheduled to tour a local training facility.

Results of today’s talks are yet to be commented on by any of the parties involved, however it can safely be assumed that unless a positive peace has been established, between the two groups, we can  expect Emperor Ryan I to press on into Europe and Australia completely dooming any chance for the preservation of our way of life.