Notes from SunnyJay

NA…. give me New Attitude!

Well friends, I just got back from New Attitude (NA), and am now going to share a little bit about how it went for me!

Well, after struggling with whether or not I would go, I finally decided on Wednesday that I WOULD in fact go.  Clearly this was a last minute decision and only by the grace of God did the details all work out.

Sadly, thursday afternoon, I came down with an illness that would threaten the entire NA experience.  Feeling fairly bad, I left work early, and spent the afternoon resting and packing.  After praying about whether I should still go or not, I decided to proceed, despite being sick.

After nervously meeting up with the guys I would be driving down with, Andy, Chris, John and Ohlou (Sp?) four guys I had never met before, but who were very kind and generous towards me during the drive.  We met up at 6am and whizzed down to Louisville KY, in a mere 9hours.  9 hours and 1 speeding ticket later, we arrived in Louisville where I felt first hand the unique experience of arriving in a foreign city, with no place to land at.  My hotel reservation was for the following day, and consequently, I would be staying with Danny that night at his room.  We arrived at 3pm, and Danny had not yet arrived, so I had no place to leave my suitcase, or land.  Thankfully, my carmates graciously shared their room or a few hours.

Finally, later that afternoon I was able to meet up with Danny and get my suitcase into the right room.  I then had a wonderful time hanging out with friends in various rooms until LATE into the night.  We played Mao, which is aptly named after the Chinese Dictator who probably developed the game after mastering the art of genocide!  I’m not a fan of Mao – the person or the game.

Staying up late wasn’t wisdom.  Tired from a long day traveling, my body throbbing with sickness, and an exhausting conference to endure were not too kind on my weary spirit.

That night, I slept on the floor, in a freezing cold room with no blankets.  Don’t get me wrong, I will be eternally grateful to Danny for taking me in and filling the gap in housing, but I got about 4 hours of sleep and the freezing drafts made my sickness worse.

The next morning, everyone was up and out of the room by 8am, and since I didn’t have anywhere to go, I had a long quiet time, and read from CJ’s Humility: True Greatness – an awesome book, which I highly recommend.

I had to stop that, when I decided to rush to CVS and buy an 8 pack of mini-tissues for my now pouring nose, and a box of Claritin which would target those symptoms.  Since I didn’t have a key, I had no where go to, so I met up with Kristin, my sister, and helped her move into her room, and then doggedly followed her around for most of the afternoon.  The Claritin was helping a lot!

That evening, I had my Family group leader meeting.  I had been asked to be a family group leader, but was given no training on the subject, and we were now going to discuss the topic at this meeting – followed by actually meeting as family groups.

NA community Group 018 (I’m on the right hand side, about an inch to the left.)
Photo complements of Hannah Currin

After the meeting I headed to my room for group 018 – my group number.  Our community group has 110 people in it, this was broken down into Family Groups of 9 or 10.  My Family Group was seriously awesome, and I would argue that it was one of the best groups at the conference.  It was my introduction to them that marked the turning point from the dark early days of the conference, when it was a true task to trust God to the later days when things got better.

My entire Family group. Clockwise: Me, Elijah, Hannah, Emily, Cam, Nathan, Ashley (in pink), Tessa (in black), Serin, and Rachel.
Photo complements of Hannah Currin

“The guys, Serin, Cam, Me, and Nathan” Photo by Rachel Currin

God really blessed me through this group.  Not only where they easy to lead, but we were all eager to share what God was doing in our lives through the conference, which made the discussions very meaningful.  We really were like a family by the end of the conference, and I praise God for that.

This group really was the providence of God.  Each Family group leader was given a 9 or 10 letter animal name, and all the people were given letters.  The mission was to match your letter with the right letters in the animal name.  For example, I was given “Honeybees”.  Each person in my group was originally given one of those letters, say an Y, or E, or H, and then they met up with me to fill out the word.

We then had to come up with a group cheer, and since we were the Honeybees, we came up with this:

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,
cause we “bee” fans of humble orthodoxy!
This is our family, we’re sweet, but dangerous!

Me with all the girls in the group, they called me “Dad”  L-R: Rachel, Hannah, Me, Emily, Ashley, and Tessa.
Photo by Hannah Currin

Nathan and Cam strike a J-Crew-esque post for the camera.

I was running very low on energy, but God’s grace carried me through the first meeting our or Family group, but my illness took its toll on my ability to worship that evening.  I barely paid attention to Josh’s message which seemed go last forever.  I’m sure when I go back and listen to it, I’ll get a lot more out of it.  I didn’t take notes cause my bible and notebook were still locked in Danny’s room.

The hardest moment of the conference was tracking down Danny, and in the middle of the night, with my throat too sore to swallow, and snot pouring down my face (the disease had moved to my nose) walking from my hotel, 4 blocks down to His room, then to where ever Danny was located to get his key, then up to his room, then back to where he was to return the key, and then back the 4 blocks to my hotel to finally collapse in bed at long last!

After what turned out to be a good night sleep, the outlook for the morning was much more pleasant, I chugged my Claritin, loaded my pockets with minipacks of “CVS White Facial Tissues” and, by the grace of God only, greeted my Family group with joy!

For the first time of the conference, worship was meaningful rich and God met me powerfully!  Mark Devers message was extremely relevant to me as I prepare to return to college,  and I raced to take pages to notes.  This was only the beginning of the upward climb.  As I forced myself to repeat the phrase “God is good and faithful to me at ALL times.” I found myself trusting God more, and the thorough drenching of my soul in God’s word further helped turn my eyes towards how faithful God has always been to me, and would be in the present and future, and away from my present difficulties.

As the week progressed, the illness receded, and my passion for leading my group, and learning from God’s word exploded!  God met me in a powerful way at New Attitude!  The most prevalent ways are the following.

1. Casting out the Idols in my heart

CJ’s message about the heart being an idol factory further pounded loose the idols was was being made aware of prior to the conference, primarily, the idol of friends.  I found that friends or relationships were taking the place of God in my heart – and consequently I was lacking joy and a passion for the Lord as I sought satisfaction in those relationships.

God was SO kind to me to withhold close contact with friends during the NA weekend so I could more thoroughly focus on God, and Christ, the savior of my soul!  At the same time as God challenged me to trust in him and give up that idol, and content myself with his word (the wording sounds like I’m making do with less, but it has proven to be more closely related to getting swamped with more!) God also supplied a few choice opportunities to related with my friends that he RICHLY blessed  thanks to him graciously changing my perspective.  I ran into Stephen Boisvert in the lobby of the conference center and as he waved me over, we sat and talked for 20mins about life, and misc. other stuff.  I may have been sleep deprived, but it was a glorious conversation to have.  With my heart securely founded on the rock of Christ, I was blessed to draw stephen out about what he was up to, and share what challenges I’ve faced over the last year.  Stephen has consistently been a faithful friend to me, and while I haven’t seen him in forever, his Godly example speaks volumes to me.  That – and he wants to be a CPA!  Stephen!  A CPA!  I never saw that one coming!  Architect maybe.

2. Trusting God for my present, and my future

Through the entire extreme-last-minute scheduling of my NA experience, God helped me trust him for ever step along the way.  The 24 hour gap between my arrival on the streets of Louisville, and the opening of my room was as well as riding down, and rooming with people I’ve never met, all provided opportunities to trust God and his providence for me.  While I spent several paragraphs complaining about my stay in Danny’s room, God used Danny to provide for a need I had – and I’m extremely grateful for it/him!  Praise God for his faithfulness to me in all areas of my life!  Let my heart rest in that faithfulness and not worry, like it always does.

3. Solidifying convictions on representing the Gospel in the dorm context

Mark Devers’s and Al Mohler’s messages about discerning Christian fellowship, and Popular Culture were very helpful in seeing how I have fallen during this last Sophomore year.  Spiritually, I was in a bit of a Sophomore Slump of compromise for the sake of “making the Gospel appealing”.  My reaction to the relationship issues with Stephen were mostly good, but provided a pleasant surface to a sin-filled {pride-filled} heart.  My desire to continue to worship the idol of relationships caused a large-scale glossing-over of less acceptable Christian values (except the going to hell bit, thanks to Stephen, I was able to articulate on many occasions where I stood who was going to Hell, and why, and how to avoid it.  Gospel!)

Generally, I left NA with a conviction of my softening attitude towards sin, and a general laxness of standards.  With the help of the Lord and good roommates I will try and stay soaked in God’s word, look for ways to stand up for Christ even more than I was before.  Humble Orthodoxy!

4. Joy in serving my family group

One Final note, God placed Nathan on my heart during NA, as he was fairly young, and it was his first time.  He forgot his Bible and Notebook, and I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit to go and buy him a notebook.  By the grace of God I was able to humbly serve Nathan in that way, and I’m so thankful for that opportunity.  A Ninja provided the Bible.  While God was actively attacking pride throughout the weekend, my drawing close to the cross helped destroy lots of sin, and I hope {by the grace of God} to stay closer to the cross for the rest of my life!

5. A renewed awareness of God’s sustaining grace.

I was constantly aware of my need for God this weekend, perhaps more than at any other time in my life to-date.  Not because what I was doing was particularly hard, but God’s mercy made me aware of my need for it.  God was very kind in not merely pouring out his grace on my life during the weekend, but also showing me how much I needed it, without extremely costly trials and tribulations.

I found my heart leaping at the chance to cry out for grace!  And then waiting excitedly for God’s inevitable response.  As John Piper said, how do we repay God for his boundless grace towards us?  Ask for more!

So much more I could write about, so much work the Lord has done in the musty confines of my heart, but alas I must stop there.  God’s goodness towards me truly does know no bounds, and my earnest prayer is that my heartfelt appreciation of this fact would continue forever!

Cya!